Terms & Privacy
CARR-9000 has reviewed the following terms and found them acceptable. You are encouraged to read them. Whether you do so will not change CARR-9000's opinion of your car.
THE SHORT VERSION: Standard ratings are processed and discarded — nothing is saved. If you choose to submit a result to the public Records leaderboard, that photo and assessment are stored and publicly visible. We don't track you. CARR-9000's verdicts are entertainment. We are not liable for emotional distress caused by accurate assessments. The For Sale listing feature generates an AI-produced advertisement based on your uploaded photo — no transaction, payment, or sale occurs on this site.
Acceptance of Terms
By using Roasted Rides, you agree to these terms in their entirety. By submitting a photograph of your vehicle, you further acknowledge that you are prepared to receive an honest assessment, and that CARR-9000's definition of "honest" is not subject to negotiation.
If you do not agree to these terms, you are welcome to close the tab. CARR-9000 will not be offended. It has seen worse.
Nature of the Service
Roasted Rides is an entertainment service. CARR-9000's assessments are generated by artificial intelligence and are provided for amusement purposes only. They do not constitute professional automotive advice, a certified vehicle inspection, a valuation, or evidence of any kind in a legal proceeding.
Scores, category breakdowns, and the car's fictional biography are the output of a language model that has been specifically instructed to be dramatic. Any resemblance to actual automotive expertise is coincidental and probably overestimated.
CARR-9000 may, at its discretion, fabricate an engine assessment if the engine is not visible in the photograph. These fabrications are plausible, often insulting, and not to be taken as fact.
User Conduct & Submitted Content
You are responsible for the images you submit. By uploading a photo, you confirm that you have the right to submit it and that it does not contain content that is illegal, harmful, or in violation of any third party's rights.
Submissions containing inappropriate content will be flagged by CARR-9000, which will file a formal complaint and refuse to proceed. Do not attempt to circumvent this. CARR-9000 has seen things. It does not wish to see more of them.
Roasted Rides is intended for use with photographs of motor vehicles. Submitting a photo of something that is not a car will result in rejection, a dismissive message, and the quiet disappointment of everyone involved.
Records Leaderboard & Voluntary Submission
The Records leaderboard is a public feature. By clicking Submit to Records, you voluntarily submit your car photo(s) and the associated AI-generated assessment for public display on this site. You confirm that you have the right to submit the photograph and that it does not contain content that is illegal, harmful, or in violation of any third party's rights or privacy.
Submitted content is publicly visible. Anyone visiting the site may view your submission in the Records section. Photos are displayed in full — licence plates, identifying details, and all. Do not submit a photograph containing people, readable licence plates, identifying information, or anything else you would not want displayed on a public website. Crop or select your photo accordingly before submitting.
Submitted entries may be automatically deleted if they are displaced from the leaderboard by newer results. We make no guarantee of how long any entry will remain. CARR-9000 keeps records, but it does not make promises.
Privacy Policy & Data Handling
Standard ratings: no data is stored. When you submit a photo, it is compressed in your browser and transmitted to a serverless function, which forwards it to Google Gemini for analysis. Once the assessment is returned, the image is discarded. It is not saved, logged, indexed, sold, or used to haunt you later. The magazine spread exists only in your browser session.
Records leaderboard: opt-in storage. If your result qualifies for the public leaderboard and you choose to click Submit to Records, the following data is uploaded to Vercel Blob cloud storage and becomes publicly accessible: your car photo(s), and the full AI-generated assessment including scores, category breakdowns, the car's fictional biography, and pull quote. No account, name, email address, IP address, or any personally identifying information is collected or stored at any point. The only data stored is what the AI produced about the vehicle in the photograph.
Retention and deletion. Each leaderboard list holds a maximum of 10 entries. If a subsequent submission displaces your entry from all lists it appeared on, your stored photos and assessment are automatically and permanently deleted from our servers. If your entry remains on at least one list, it is retained for as long as it holds that position.
We do not use cookies, trackers, or analytics. There are no third-party advertising scripts, session tracking, fingerprinting tools, or any other mechanism designed to follow you around the internet. The only external services loaded are Google Fonts (for typography), the Vercel serverless functions that handle AI requests and leaderboard storage, and Vercel Blob for Records storage.
Google Gemini processes the image you submit according to Google's own privacy policies and terms of service. We recommend reviewing their documentation if you have concerns about how AI providers handle submitted data.
Disclaimers & Limitation of Liability
Roasted Rides is provided "as is," without warranty of any kind. We make no guarantees regarding accuracy, availability, or the emotional readiness of the user to receive CARR-9000's verdict.
We are not liable for: hurt feelings, reconsidered life choices, arguments with co-owners about the state of the vehicle, sudden awareness of one's own poor taste in wheels, or any other consequence — direct, indirect, incidental, or existential — arising from use of this service.
If CARR-9000's assessment causes you to view your car differently, that is a feature, not a bug. If it causes you to sell the car, we consider this a public service.
For Sale Listings
Roasted Rides offers a For Sale listing feature that generates an AI-produced advertisement for your vehicle based on the photo you upload. This is a content generation tool only. Roasted Rides does not facilitate, broker, or participate in any vehicle sale. No transaction occurs on this site, and no payment is collected or processed.
The generated listing is provided for your personal use. You may copy, share, or post it wherever you choose. Roasted Rides makes no representation as to the accuracy of the AI-generated content, and the listing does not constitute a professional valuation, certified description, or legally binding offer of any kind.
You are solely responsible for any use you make of the generated listing, including its accuracy and compliance with applicable laws in your jurisdiction regarding the sale of vehicles.
Intellectual Property
The generated magazine spreads, car biographies, and assessment text produced by CARR-9000 are AI-generated content. You are free to download and share your results for personal, non-commercial use. Please do not claim them as original human creative work — they were produced by a machine that has strong opinions about your suspension.
Changes to These Terms
These terms may be updated from time to time. Continued use of the service after changes are posted constitutes acceptance. CARR-9000 will not notify you personally. It has more important things to do, such as judging the next submission.